Today we’re going to talk about those children of ours. How did they get to be 18, right? They were just born yesterday. But as our children turn 18, and are now considered to have reached the age of maturity, there are some things we need to consider. I right now have two babies who are just about to go off to college. My senior spent a year training as a medic in the National Guard. He will now go to the University of Illinois Chicago to become a nurse. And my senior is now going to hopefully University of Illinois to study Philosophy and Political Science, wanting to follow in his mother’s footsteps and become a lawyer.
As I launch the two of them out into the world, and many of you are launching your teenagers also, we know they still need so much from us. We need to help them navigate the world, their first jobs, college. We need to still keep them safe. We’re probably going to be paying for them for a few more years. So we need to think about where we stand with them now legally, as they are considered adults and no longer under our guardianship and care.
There are a few things important for us to get into place as our children reach that stage. Powers of Attorney for Healthcare and Finance. Healthcare when they go off to college, anything can happen. We know that. We’ve kept them safe. There could be a party gone awry where somebody ends up in the emergency room. There could be a car accident. Things can happen in life. We do not automatically get our child’s information because they’re over the age of 18. So make sure you get a Healthcare POA, simple little document, have them assign that authority under Healthcare to you. This way if something happens, you’ll be able to help them make decisions, get information, and be able to step in just as you have been doing as they go through these next few years. Get a HIPAA where they waive the right to privacy for their healthcare to you, so that you can get whatever help they need with their medication, find out anything you need to do to help them with that situation.
Power of Attorney for Finance, Power of Attorney for Property. We want to make sure that you can still pay their bills. Maybe you go to the bank for them, maybe you’re making a car payment for them. Maybe you’re opening their mail to see if they received something that they’re waiting for. All of that you need the Power of Attorney for Property. Have them assign that to you before you go.
Now, here’s something you might, or might not, find surprising. While the college your child is going to will be very happy to take your money, month after month, they are not going to release your child’s educational progress to you, discuss it with you, let you know whether they’re in class or whether they’re passing, because there’s a very strong, protective educational act. It’s called FERPA, which protects your child’s educational privacy the way the healthcare laws protect their privacy.
So, in order for you to be able to monitor, to navigate, to help your child through their educational program, they need to waive that right to you. You can do that in an individual document, or you can do that through the school, often on their website. So make sure that does get taken care of.
Those are three simple little documents before your child goes off to college that are going to mean a great deal of help for you as you help your child.
Now, many of you may have a child who, as they went through school in their teenage years, has an IEP. This is a wonderful law. We have State and Federal law that gives your child what help they need so that they can successfully navigate through their education. But, as they turn 18, you no longer naturally have the consent to work on their educational program for them. Your son or daughter can give you that consent, they can delegate their right under Federal and State law to you, so that you can continue to be involved. They give you consent so you can monitor that program for them. You do need to review that every year. Also your child who has turned 18 can withdraw that at any time. But in order for you to continue to help them, often they’re 18 in their senior year, in that program, get that delegation of rights.
So, as those babies turn 18, those are a couple of little inexpensive, legal documents you want to get in place so you continue to get them launched successfully out into the world.
Speaking of launching out into the world, I’m going to leave you with a quote from the wonderful Kahlil Gibran on children in his book, The Prophet. “You, parents, are the bows from which your children as living oils are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arms may go swift and far.”
Wishing all our children very, very successful educational futures and lives.
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